Expired Mindsets: Releasing Patterns that No Longer Serve You Well

Dr. Charryse Johnson, the founder of Jade Integrative Counseling and Wellness, is an advocate for mental health and inclusivity. She is the author of several works, including Expired Mindsets, the recent guided journal Mindset Matters: Get Off the Scale and Heal and Embrace: 28 Days of Self-Love. Her extensive background in counseling psychology and trauma makes her a prominent voice in conversations about leadership and equity. As a clinician, she has worked with individuals, couples, and families across the lifespan and is adept at helping individuals navigate challenging life transitions and identity development. Dr.Johnson holds bachelor’s degrees in both vocal music and human development and family studies, a master’s in professional counseling, and a Ph.D. in counseling psychology, with a concentration in crisis and trauma. As an executive wellness consultant, she supports non-profits, educational institutions, and corporations looking to develop strategic initiatives that center on leadership, inclusivity, and mental health. Dr.Johnson is a frequent advocate and advisor for national radio shows and news stations in Charlotte, N.C., and the surrounding areas. In addition, she was selected and featured by MSN as one of the “Top 10 Entrepreneurs Shaping the Future of Business in 2024.” Her knowledge and insights have also been featured in publications such as BRAINZ Magazine, CNBC Online News, Prevention, Romper, Healthline,Bustle, and the Atlassian.

As we gather in the spirit of service and growth, I want to take a moment to reflect on the powerful roles we play in our communities. Each of you is a beacon of hope, a catalyst for change, and a vital source of inspiration. However, to continue this transformative work, we must confront a challenge that often goes unnoticed: our own outdated and unhealthy mindsets. In our pursuit of progress, it is all too easy to become tethered to limiting beliefs—those internal narratives that whisper that we aren’t enough, that our efforts won’t make a difference, or that change is too daunting. These beliefs can create barriers that hinder our potential and stifle our ability to lead effectively. Today, I urge you to recognize and challenge these self-imposed limitations. You are not only capable but equipped with limitless potential to tackle the challenges that lie before you. Imagine what we could achieve if we shifted our mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance; from doubt to unwavering belief in our mission and ourselves. Let’s foster an environment where we encourage one another to think differently. Shift your perspective to view obstacles not as roadblocks, but as opportunities for growth and innovation. Embrace a mindset of resilience, where setbacks are stepping stones to success, and where collaboration amplifies our impact. As leaders, it is our duty to model this mindset. Let us be vigilant in recognizing when negative thoughts creep in and challenge each other to rise above them. Celebrate small victories, share stories of resilience, and cultivate a community that believes in the power of possibility. Together, we can create a movement that transcends limitations—a movement that inspires not only ourselves but also those we serve. Let’s ignite a revolution of thought that empowers every individual to realize their potential and contribute to a brighter future. Thank you for your commitment to this important journey. Let’s embrace our limitless potential and lead with confidence and courage. 

More at – https://drcharryse.com

 

The Interview Transcript

Hugh Ballou:
Welcome to this episode of the Nonprofit Exchange. My name is Hugh Ballou. I’m the founder and president of Center Vision Leadership Foundation. We work with nonprofit leaders of all types and all fields. building capacity, transforming our skills, because we’re transforming organizations and ultimately we’re transforming people’s lives with the work that we do. I have a special guest, a brand new friend, Charryse Johnson. Her topic today is, whoa, wait till you hear this, Inspired Mindsets, Releasing Patterns That No Longer Serve You Well. and it’s level up your mindset. Charisse, before we do that, tell people a little bit about yourself and your passion for this work.

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Sure. Yep. Dr. Charisse Johnson. I’m a licensed clinical mental health therapist, a mindfulness practitioner and author. I spend about half my time working one-on-one with clients. And then the other half of my time as an expert mental health consultant for nonprofits, leaders, organizations, whether that’s through coming in virtually or retreats, I love the bifurcation of being in both spaces and specifically working with leaders who are often on the front line, so to speak, of moving things ahead, but don’t always have the time to support themselves. And my passion around working in this area really comes from my own experiences in corporate or working with high executives or entrepreneurs that found that they were putting so much time in leading their business. that they weren’t leading their own life, and those two things have an impact on one another.

Hugh Ballou:
Wow. I read an epistle daily by Father Richard Rohr, and one of his quotes is, how we do anything is how we do everything.

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yes.

Hugh Ballou:
So it’s really important to work on ourselves, isn’t it?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
and not to try to separate the two. A lot of times we think we can separate personal and professional, but they’re always gonna be intertwined. If our personal life is in balance, our professional life is gonna be impacted and vice versa.

Hugh Ballou:
Amazing, amazing. Now, let’s get into the topic today. This is fascinating. Now, I’m a mature adult. That might be confusing that anybody would think a man would be mature, but we do. So, expired mindsets, releasing patterns that no longer serve you well. So, let’s talk about that and then level up your mindset. Is that the title of your book?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yes, so the title of the book, yes, is expired mindsets releasing patterns that no longer serve you well the leveling up your mindset is a part of the process that you’ll experience when you go through. the book or these principles. Essentially, we all have various part of our lives where we learn paradigms and principles and we can get stuck on them and feel like this worked for me really well in this one season of life. And then as time goes on and we mature, we get to a point that we feel sometimes stuck or we feel like we keep hitting a wall with the things that we’re trying to move forward and we can’t figure it out. but we’re not evolving and shifting and changing because the mindset that maybe got us started in our roles has expired. I often give people the example of the importance of knowing what’s in your freezer. You know, we have a lot of things that we put in there and we just stuff it. And the same thing happens to us over life. And there are moments that we go, I need to kind of thaw this out and see what’s no good, what really smells, even though I can’t notice it. And how do I get rid of that and replace it with something fresh and new?

Hugh Ballou:
So how do we know? I’ve interviewed a whole lot of people who think they want to work with me. And they, you know, leadership, oh, that’s a soft skill. I don’t need that. So how do we become, we’re all guilty of this, and me at the front of the line, how do we not know what needs to be changed? How do we know that? How do we find those blind spots that we’re not aware of?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
They show up in several different ways. One way that a blind spot is going to show up is when you notice that there’s a difference between your thought and your action. Here’s the kind of person or the kind of leader that you feel like you want to be in you. map out this huge vision and goal, and then for some reason you find that you’re unable to follow through. So you’re stuck in some type of pattern. Sometimes that pattern is what we call self-sabotage, where you’re like, I’m continuing to do things that I said I wanted to stop doing. A very simple one can be our sleep patterns, where you fully recognize, I need more sleep to be effective but we’re stuck in a pattern of staying up late, overextending ourselves, and that can even be an example that then the next day we’re not as sharp, the memory is fading. So one way that you’re going to see that is there. The other ways that you may see it is if you feel like you’re having a difficult time scaling, growing, and networking, meaning you are struggling to put yourself out there in ways that you once were, you’re not feeling as confident, you’re in your head about where you are a little bit, may be a really clear sign that you’re stuck or kind of in transition. Feel like I got you thinking.

Hugh Ballou:
Wow, stuck in transition. So what are some of the myths about, you know, it’s really common to think, okay, I got this down, I can use this forever. Well, what’s the myth around that? And how do leaders then, but not aware that it doesn’t work any longer, how do we set up problems?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yeah, so there is no, well one myth, just to answer that very specifically, is that the way I’ve always done it is the best way. That is a primary classic myth. This once worked for me, so why would I change, right? And it’s not always about the need to completely change. What I often will tell leaders is, You want to think of the work that you’re doing like a tapestry. Different colors, different dynamics, different principles that are going to intertwine. But if you’re also not seeing growth, then you recognize, well, I have a problem because most of us are doing something because we want to see growth, whether that’s in our own world or in the lives of the people that we serve. So you want to look at what have I been doing? What evidence do I have that what I’m doing is still working? What evidence do I have that what I’ve been doing is no longer as effective as it once was? And always make sure that you’re open to new ways of looking at things. I often consider having people consider it as a pivot or a shift so that they don’t feel like they completely lose themselves.

Hugh Ballou:
Wow. Pivot. I think I find that many people are unsure about the word change. So pivot’s a kind of refreshing paradigm, isn’t it?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yes, pivot is much more approachable because it’s a matter of, I’m continuing to stay on the journey that I am on as a leader and a professional, but a pivot might mean I’m just gonna take a quick turn in another direction to still keep going forward. So maybe if I kept going straight, I would run into a roadblock. I’m aware of that roadblock. I see it. So I’m gonna go a different direction, but I’m still gonna move forward. Change is daunting. Change is overwhelming and a lot of us, place too much pressure on change. And it’s not about changing who you are, it’s about refining who you are and making sure that you’re fully stepping into your highest potential and you’re working smarter, truly, not harder.

Hugh Ballou:
I noticed in your background, it says better is possible.

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yes, that is a huge undertone that If I wanted people to leave with one thing, I would want them to recognize where I am right now, I can stay if I choose, and that’s perfectly fine. And it’s important for us to have a level of contentment, but don’t limit yourself. Don’t limit what’s possible because you fear a shift.

Hugh Ballou:
Is there some, you and I had talked about my studies and your studies with Murray Bowen’s writings and Bowen family systems. And what’s really nice about that is learning about myself without having right or wrong. I find there’s a lot of leaders that don’t want to deal with it because they feel criticized or they feel like they’ve done something wrong. How do we get over this? Well, I’ve done it wrong when we really haven’t done it wrong. Other things have changed and we need to adapt. Is that what I’m hearing?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yes, that is exactly what you’re hearing. One of the mindsets that can be very helpful so it doesn’t feel black or white, right or wrong is curiosity. Walking through your personal journey in your own life as a leader and stepping back and going, I want to be more curious about how I’m showing up in certain spaces. What am I noticing? So curiosity and awareness help us move from right to wrong to paying attention and observing what am I seeing in myself? Wow, I’m noticing that I feel like I’ve lost some parts of my passion and I’m not sure How to get that back. I’m curious, what has changed? Oh, I haven’t been able to get out and network the way that I once did. That’s something that energizes me and that part of my role has changed. For example, I once worked with a leader who felt like they were losing passion. for the organization that they were built. And they were very worried, overwhelmed, and confused. And they were like, I don’t know how I got here, but I don’t have that same excitement. So we took some time to be curious and observe, well, what’s changed in your specific role over the last five to seven years? And as we went through and we looked at that, we recognized a few things. One of the most primary things is some of the things that he specifically enjoyed went to the back burner and he didn’t realize how much of a value those things were in order to help him stay connected. The other thing that we recognize is that he had some specific mindsets or what we sometimes called self-limiting beliefs that were preventing him from taking some necessary risk to move his company forward. And as a result of that, it really kind of kept him stuck. We were able to do some work around his fears on if I relinquish this area, if I share in this with other people, can it be trusted? And I’m happy to say he was able to move beyond and has reconnected his passion, but also seen substantial growth in his role as a leader and his ability to develop other leaders.

Hugh Ballou:
Wow. You talk about us being a catalyst for change or transformation and influencer. In my world, as a conductor, I’ve got a stick. I can’t make anybody do anything, but I can influence people. Yes. That can be transferred to any place of leadership. Yes. Talk more about, you talk about being tethered to our limiting beliefs, those internal narratives. How does that limit us and how does that infect the culture that we lead?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yeah, it can feel like a slow virus, sometimes fast, but often a slow virus. You mentioned earlier Bowen family systems and the importance of us knowing ourselves. Many of the mindsets that we have come from both nature and nurture. Some of them are our own temperaments. We might be type A. We like things to be done a particular way. And if it doesn’t happen, that’s a struggle. But then we become tethered to everyone needs to be just like me. Whereas truly as leaders, we want to make sure that we have diversity of thought and diversity in our team. That tethering will feel like you are beating your head against a wall. It will also, when we think about how it influences culture, it can stifle your culture if people feel like, why communicate? Why be creative? Why be innovative? Because this leader essentially only wants what they want. Tell me if any of you who are listening can kind of identify with this classic example. You go into a meeting with your leader, or maybe you’ve been in this place in the past before, and you ask a question and you’re looking for feedback, and there’s radio silence. And you’re a little frustrated and you’re wondering, why won’t people share how they feel? You do some one-on-ones, you kind of get your other managers to get with the staff and colleagues and figure things out. And what comes back to you is people feel like It doesn’t matter what they say, you only want to receive what you already believe is true. They feel like you’re so tethered to your vision and your way of doing anything, why would I spend the time to try and convince you otherwise. And so culture becomes flat, culture becomes stagnant and complacent. And then eventually people who are highly advantageous will often leave so that they can be in a place that values what they bring to the table more.

Hugh Ballou:
That is huge. I see that often. And I also see leaders that are not aware of this paradigm. We tend to isolate ourselves. I can claim fragile male ego. So I don’t want to know about it because it might challenge myself.

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
You don’t want to expire that mindset.

Hugh Ballou:
No, I’m all over it. I like to ask people what they think. And there’s a risk to that. Yeah. But on the other side of it, it’s opening up a potential. So talk about some of the paradigms. This is especially true in our world of nonprofits. We identify ourselves with a negative. So shifting from scarcity to abundance, from obstacles to opportunities. Some of those mindset shifts that it’s up to us to facilitate in our organizations.

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
And if you’re struggling to move that paradigm right from scarcity to opportunity or scarcity to abundance, at least attempt to move from that negative mindset to a more neutral ground. Often, one of the other ways that we recognize those paradigms is if we notice whenever a situation happens, our mind always goes to worst case scenario, Or we chronically make a cognitive distortion called making assumptions. We always assume that we know exactly how things are going to play out. That’s a very limiting belief system. So one of the paradigms that we want to be aware of is What’s my thought process like? And how does that show up in the work that I do? How does that show up in the way I perceive other people? And am I also passing that on and filtering that to other individuals? It’s very overwhelming often to go from one paradigm to the other because it’s uncomfortable. You’re not sure about it. Sometimes making assumptions or catastrophizing coming to worst case scenario is what we think is important in order to help keep us safe. Well, I’ve had a bad experience in my last nonprofit, so I promised myself this would never happen to me again, so I’m carrying that I need to always stay ahead of things. But then you may not trust the people around you, and then you may not empower them. So it really does take opening yourself up to working with someone like you, a coach, a therapist, to go, Let’s step back and see if you can be an observer of how you’re showing up and really going, is the benefit of staying the same still worth it?

Hugh Ballou:
Whoa, you heard it right here on the nonprofit exchange. And there’s a lot of useful soundbites, a lot of phrases, a lot of good content. Do not worry if you didn’t capture it. There’s a full transcript on the nonprofitexchange.org. On this episode, there’s a full transcript of everything. So you didn’t miss a thing. You can go back and listen to it on the podcast or watch it on our website. And you can have access to all of these jewels. Wow. Negative thoughts, how that infects us and infects others and going back to Bowen systems, it’s sometimes negative thoughts create anxiety and we’re not aware how that’s contagious in the culture. Can you speak to how we can work with those negative thoughts and how do we overcome that?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Sure. Negative thoughts are actually a very natural part of life. We would like to think that they aren’t. The brain actually produces about 60 to 65,000 thoughts a day, and about 70% of those are negative if we haven’t done the work. to make them more intentional. I love watching your response when I said that. Here’s why the brain leans towards negativity bias because the brain’s primary goal in our lives is to keep us safe. The brain is constantly looking for What’s safe for you? How do I make you comfortable? So some of us get caught in negative thinking patterns because we believe if I can think and see every terrible thing that’s going to happen, I can keep myself safe. But what we don’t recognize is it makes us anxious. It makes us uptight. It makes us what we call hypervigilant, so that’s edgy, always being on the awareness or being on the defensiveness. And that’s what makes us as leaders have a hard time listening to other people because we’re listening through that lens of negativity. It also can make us project, where we believe that other people see us the way we see ourselves.

Hugh Ballou:
That is huge. Whoa. And this happens many times without us being aware that’s what’s going on.

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yeah. And even when we are aware, as we move towards, well, what do we do? It’s very overwhelming because there’s a part of us that knows, I know that this inner critic that I’m battling is not ideal, but I don’t know any other voice. This is what I’m used to. Another myth that I want to bring out is being hard on yourself is not effective. A lot of leaders believe being tough, always grinding things out, being very hard is what pushes them, and it actually does the opposite. It burns us out. It overwhelms us. So ways to support yourself if you find, you know, I’m resonating with some of this, and I do think my inner self-critic is not in a good place. Write down two to five different thoughts that you know I hear this or I say this to myself frequently because moving them out of your brain onto paper allows you to face them and honor them. And then from there, you really wanna look at how does thinking this way benefit me, right? What do I believe that makes me continue to hold and nurture this thought? And can I change any of the words here to make it more neutral? For example, if I’m working with someone who’s a leader and they are maybe collaborating or merging with a new organization, they may go into that opportunity and feel like my voice doesn’t matter. That’s one of the expired mindsets that I even cover in the book. And we’ll look at, well, at what point in your life did you feel like your voice didn’t matter. And so sometimes I might be working with someone who says, and this is just generalization, I was a middle child. I feel like the oldest child had their place. The youngest child had their place. I felt like I wasn’t seen. They felt like they were ignored. So they just become quiet and internalize and don’t feel like using their voice has ever been valuable or loud enough. So we sometimes have to work through how they can break up with that message that was unintentionally given in their family dynamics. And then what do you need to feel safe in releasing that mindset? And what do you really want to believe? Well, I want to believe that my thoughts have value and people want to hear them, right? But in order to do that, you kind of have to step out and give it a try.

Hugh Ballou:
Oh, wow. Speaking of the book, what else is in the book? The title of it again?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yeah, expired mindsets, releasing patterns that no longer serves you well. I really take you through a journey of various mindsets that most of us have either heard someone say or said to ourselves. And then each chapter will include a little bit of neuroscience. You understand how the brain and the nervous system gets set up in that anxiety and feeling stuck. And then at the end of each chapter are reflection questions that you can use to help kind of tie in parallel to whatever situation that you’re in. So I wanted to create something that had a lot of revisibility, which means you might be going through one thing when you go through the book and you could go back and reread it and then answer those same questions and have different answers because you’re now in a different season. And then there’s some mindfulness activities in there for those that do struggle with anxiety or depression or negative self-talk.

Hugh Ballou:
Good leaders are good readers.

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yes.

Hugh Ballou:
And I find it helpful. I have a highlighter when I go through the book the first time, and then when I go back to it later, I try to get a different color highlighter. And I find that I highlight different things. Go figure.

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Yes, who figures? But you hit such a great point. Having a tangible copy, I know we’re in the world of digital Kindles, but we retain more when we touch it, we feel it, we highlight it, we manipulate it. We remember 85% more than we do if we just listen to it or read it digitally.

Hugh Ballou:
Oh, my goodness. So, let’s come to your website. For those, and we’re going to describe it for those that are just listening and not seeing as well. So, it’s drcharyse.com. So, if we get there, what will people find?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
you will find more than you ever dreamed. There’s a lot of different things on there. You can find out a little bit more about me and how to stay connected with me. I do a lot of keynote speaking. So there’s an opportunity to see some of the topics that I speak about and how I might be able to support your organization coming in and doing an individualized strategic wellness consultant for you. And there’s also several podcasts on there around different topics. For example, with Hugh’s permission, I will do a direct link from this podcast back to his page on there so that as people are coming and they want information on a wealth of topics, you’re with me and other expert professionals talking through some of these things. So there’s a lot there, as well as I have a podcast called Dear Dr. Charisse that can be found on Spotify, Apple, YouTube, all of your favorite podcast networks.

Hugh Ballou:
So in the episode where we have the transcript, we will also have the link to that website and you can go to the podcast and then that’ll take you to where you can get it on your device. Give us a quick example of somebody you’ve worked with and their transformation of mice.

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
So I just had a leader that we wrapped up working together for about a year. And I bring up the amount of time because it’s important to know that it doesn’t happen easily. This person came in to me, they were a CEO of a high Fortune 500 company, and they were experiencing burnout and recognized that a big part of that burnout was connected to some self-limiting beliefs that they had about, I’m not allowed to rest, it is not okay for me to take time off, or I need to care for others before I care for myself. Those were their top three. And so we really went through several months of taking each one of those one at a time and determining How is this mindset showing up in your behaviors? How is this mindset impacting you on a personal level, and how is it impacting you on an interpersonal level? And how can we reframe this? There’s something in the world of psychology we call a cognitive reframe, where you intentionally work to go, this is the language that comes natural, but it’s negative, it tears me down. Here’s the reframe, the new language that I wanna start speaking, and how do I make my actions line up with that? Long story short, one year later, their inner dialogue is significantly better. They have a much more balanced way of life where they’re still feeling effective as a leader, but they don’t feel like their home life or their personal life is suffering because there was an imbalance there. in their attention. And it’s interesting that you said a good leader is a good reader. One thing that they were not doing was taking time to read things that would help support their mindset and make sure that they were just maintaining a level of self-awareness. So they set goals and that, and that’s kind of helping them sustain.

Hugh Ballou:
Love it. We’ve covered so much in these 25 minutes. It’s gone so fast. So thank you. So what word of wisdom do you want to leave for the leaders, developing leaders and potential leaders that are in our audience?

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
One of the things that I constantly say, and I love saying this, is knowledge is not power without application. So don’t let this just be something that you hear as they continue to watch you and learn from other leaders. Always make sure you look for ways that you can apply what you’ve learned and believe in yourself.

Hugh Ballou:
Dr. Charryse Johnson, magic woman. This has been so inspiring today. Thank you so much for sharing your content with the nonprofit exchange audience. Thank you for that.

Dr. Charryse Johnson:
Thank you.